Si Aliquid Amas
by Littleotter73
Summary: Post Chosen. Sorries have been said and absolutions given, but things are still tense between the Watcher and Slayer. Can they figure it out before they go their separate ways?


**Title: **Si Aliquid Amas

**Author: **littleotter73

**Pairing:** Giles/Buffy

**Raiting: **FRAO/NC-17

**Setting: **Post Chosen

**Beta: **catchoo, with my heartfelt thanks! She's brilliant and always pushes me further than I think I can go. Any remaining mistakes are totally mine.

**Special Thanks:** Go to quinara for her help with the Latin translations and from saving me from embarrassing myself with Google Translator.

**Written: **for the summer_of_giles community over on Livejournal

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing in the Buffyverse.

**A/N:** Translation of the title is at the end of the story.

Si Aliquid Amas

Giles had just returned from the airport, where he'd seen the last of the newly activated Slayers off. Some had headed home to clean up their own cities of vampiric and demonic activity, whilst others had left with Faith and Robin to guard the new Hellmouth in Cleveland - but these last few had had nowhere else to go and were currently on a jumbo jet bound for England to join the few Watchers, like Robson, who had survived the bombing of the Council building, as well as assassination attempts by the bringers. As he put the car in park, Giles let out a huge sigh. In a few days, he too would find himself on a plane heading home, taking up the dubious task of rebuilding the Council as its new Head Watcher.

In truth, he really didn't want to do it, but he felt he owed it to _his_ Slayer that he should. They had been sitting ducks waiting for the First to come after them in the days before the final battle, rapidly running out of time. Had there been another way, Buffy wouldn't have had Willow perform the activation spell, but her instincts had been right and she had unleashed the powers of the Slayer on the Potentials. These new Slayers were managing fairly well after the apocalypse, but now the organization had to find the ones who hadn't been part of the fight, take care of them, and provide them with Watchers, training, and coping mechanisms. Like Buffy, these girls were not brought up in the Council and they had no idea what was happening to them.

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked through the lobby of the hotel making his way to the bar. When he sat down, he threw his new prescription sunglasses and rental car keys down onto the counter.

"What's your poison tonight, Mr Giles?" the bartender asked.

"Whatever you've got on tap, Dan, the darker the better," he answered, running a hand through his hair.

"You seen all of 'em off now? Their parents must be relieved. Can't believe they would just send 'em to Sunnydale for an exchange program. There were rumblings about odd seismic activity for months."

Giles ignored the reference to the troubles in Sunnydale. "Just four of us left, and we'll be out of your hair in a couple days."

"No trouble at all, Mr Giles, we'll miss ya when ya head back to that country of yours," Dan replied before heading off to serve another customer.

Just the four of them. The original gang. Buffy had sent Dawn off to LA to be with their father once she had located him a week after the final battle. She hadn't given him much of a choice, saying she would come back for her sister when she was settled. Giles took a long draught from the pint that was placed in front of him. Oddly enough, Dawn was fine with this decision, seemingly set on taking full advantage of her situation as a "Sunnydale survivor" and her father's overwhelming sense of guilt at having abandoned his daughters years ago.

Draining half his glass, Giles felt his heart grow heavy. He and Buffy still walked on eggshells around each other, despite him having apologized for that awful business with Spike, as well as siding with the rest of the group when she was unceremoniously thrown out of the house. She had accepted his apology, acknowledging that she could see his perspective, but that it had hurt her nonetheless; and he had to admit that he had been surprised when she apologized as well, saying that she had never meant to hurt him and that she had gone too far when she slammed the door in his face. Yet, after all the sorries were said and absolutions given, things were still tense between them.

He also noticed how restless she was, like she didn't know what she wanted to do with herself now that the Hellmouth was closed, only that she was determined to take a break from slaying. The last time they talked, she seemed to have her heart set on taking up residence in Rome, and in a way, he couldn't blame her. The Eternal City was not a favorite amongst the demonic population, as the Vatican, the very heart of the Catholic Church, was ensconced within, and all the religious iconography throughout the city put them off.

He had hoped she would come to England to help him set up the new academy that would train the new Watchers and Slayers, but he didn't have the heart to ask her after she had shared her desire to go to Rome. And now Xander and Willow were going their separate ways too. He supposed a parting of ways was inevitable - after all, he had left the group two years prior hoping to jump start Buffy back to living, and when he returned to deal with Willow's apocalypse, he had only stayed long enough for the Wicca to be able to travel back to England with him. He also knew from his observations over the last several months that Xander, Willow, and Buffy still had issues regarding the Slayer's resurrection and all that had followed it during the last two years. Thinking on it, he surmised that a natural separation was bound to happen. They needed their own time to grieve, mourn their losses, and heal, and maybe it was easier if they did it without the others. Perhaps there wasn't enough to give each other when they needed time to focus on themselves.

Finishing the beer and checking his watch, he realized he had just over an hour before he had to meet his young friends at the fancy seafood restaurant outside the shopping mall a few miles away. They had decided to go to that grown up arcade place, Dave and somethingorother's, to mindlessly blow off some steam. At the last minute Buffy had offered to accompany him to the airport, but he'd told her to go have fun and relax with the others. He thought he had noticed a twinge of disappointment in her face, but then she had smiled and thanked him. Hopefully, he'd still get some time alone with her before they headed their separate ways. For some reason, he _needed_ to be around her, and it just didn't seem like enough when they were with the others.

After plunking down enough money to cover his drink and a generous tip, he made his way to his room. He truly needed a shower and a shave, having foregone them earlier that morning.

Forty minutes later, he was clean and dressed, allowing his hair to dry naturally, a little wild. He felt rather unsettled in the fitted forest green dress shirt and tight black jeans Buffy and Willow had picked up for him after they had arrived in this extreme northern suburb of LA. Having been so busy making plans for the new Slayers, and working with Faith and Robin to set up a successful operation once they settled in Cleveland, he had foolishly asked the young women to pick up some clothes for him. He supposed they had guessed his sizes, and most of the clothes he had been wearing over the last two weeks were looser, but the dress clothes they had picked out for him definitely fitted more snugly than he liked. Rifling through the bag to find some socks, he came across a small box and opened it, finding a small silver hoop inside. He rarely wore an earring anymore and wondered which one of them had picked it out. A small smile appeared on his lips as he inserted the hoop through his ear. Maybe he'd just leave it in.

With five minutes to spare, he met his friends at the restaurant. He had expected them to be late since they usually were, and was therefore pleasantly surprised to find them waiting for him.

"Hey Giles! Gosh! You look amazing!" Willow blurted out enthusiastically.

He blushed and ducked his head, thankful he was still wearing his shades. "Thank you, Willow. You and Buffy have impeccable taste."

"Actually, it was all Buffy. I had to go settle an altercation between Kennedy and Vi. We didn't need a throw down in the food court over who bagged the most übervamps," the redhead explained with mild exasperation.

Giles figured he shouldn't have been surprised that Buffy would take the time to find nice things for him to wear since she'd always loved fashion, but he was nonetheless. Maybe Rome wasn't where she should head, but Florence. Of course, London also had its fair share of design houses...

"Thank you, Buffy. I suppose I have you to thank for the earring as well?"

"No, that would be me, Big Guy," Xander stated, trying to keep a straight face.

"Well, thank you, Xander, I never knew you cared," Giles riposted as Buffy smacked the dark haired man in the stomach.

"Ow! Geez, Buff, be careful around us mere mortals, okay?" he complained, clutching his belly.

"So did the three of you rot your brains on video games this afternoon?" the Watcher asked as they waited for their table.

"Yep, quality time blowing away zombies and killin' Nazis," Xander answered. "You would have loved it!"

Giles rolled his eyes and looked at Willow and Buffy, "You as well?"

"Yup, but after a while, it was time for some racing on the motorbikes!" Buffy responded with a wide grin.

"You... uh... like motorcycles?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little chicken to do it in real life. No road rash or dismemberment to deal with in the arcade."

"I... I could... teach you sometime... if you like, that is," Giles offered before mentally kicking himself, remembering they were heading in separate directions in a few days. How stupid. She was moving on and he had to accept that.

"Yeah, that'd be nice, Giles," she answered, slipping her arm through his as the maitre d' showed them to their table.

The Englishman looked down at her in surprise, but wrapped his free hand around the one curled in his arm in an expression of affection. Maybe one day he _would_ teach her to ride.

The four of them shared three bottles of wine during dinner and got a little rowdy, but luckily it was late in the evening and they were in an area of the restaurant that had mostly cleared out. After they had finished dessert and coffee, they decided to head back to the hotel, catching a cab since no one felt it was a good idea for anyone in their party to drive.

"I say it's time to raid the minibars in our rooms and party like it's... party time!" Willow announced with a slight grin. When the Wicca got tipsy it was like having high school Willow back again; sweet, innocent, and full of pluck.

"Oh, yes! Whose room is the party room? Mine's really messy." Buffy looked at the others. "What? I had to get ready for our Scooby date. Clothes _everywhere,_" she explained with a small pout.

Giles always thought she was quite adorable when she did that. He never was able to resist when she pouted to get her way, usually to get a night off patrolling or avoid some other unpleasant Slayer duty she didn't want to do, like burial detail when the demons didn't "go poof" or melt into a puddle of goo.

"Umm... my room... just isn't..." Xander started, but then stopped himself. There was no need to elaborate. Since living on his own again, he'd become a bit of a slob.

"I guess we could go to mine, but it's sorta not ready for visitation. If you wanna wait, I could go clean it up," Willow offered.

"No matter, we'll party in mine," Giles said against his better judgment. He wasn't sure he was going to like the cleanup in the morning, but the truth was that he genuinely missed the camaraderie of his three friends and the movie nights they used to share years ago. _Before things fell to shit_, he thought somewhat bitterly before tamping it down. They didn't have much time together, and he wasn't about to ruin it by being a maudlin drunk.

The three Scoobies went back to their rooms and plundered their mini-fridges prior to heading to Giles' room. One by one, they showed up at his door wearing pajamas and carrying sacks of beer, little bottles of spirits, candy, cookies, chips, and crackers.

When Buffy entered in red flannel pajama shorts mismatched with a long sleeve white and pink checked flannel top, she looked at him nonplussed, "Uh uh, Giles. As sexy as you look in your new clothes, it's jammy time. Go change."

The Watcher's eyes went wide. "I don't-" He stopped himself, but not in time.

"I bought you some. What? Do you sleep naked?" she asked as she walked over to the closet and rummaged through the bags of clothes she had bought him.

"Whoa, Buff. Let's not get too personal with the Watcher. Some of us are _not_ interested in what he does or doesn't sleep in."

"Just get the jammies, Giles. We can't have a Scooby party until we're all comfortable."

"As I recall, Willow, we've had plenty of social events without sleepwear, and those where we did, I seem to remember vaguely that I-"

"Wore sweats and a t-shirt," Buffy finished for him, dumping the royal blue satin pajamas pants in his lap. "Go change."

Giles stared at them. He couldn't possibly wear those. "Did you buy any other sets? Something in cotton, perhaps?"

"Nope. You didn't make a list of what you needed, Giles, so I just guessed. Anyway, you had a satin bathrobe, so I figured you liked it. Now go change."

"I-I do, but-"

"Then stop fussing and go!" the Slayer commanded pointing towards the bathroom.

"Yeah, Giles, it's just jammies, we've all been jammied up with each other before. Besides, party: much drinking and making with the merry," Willow agreed with a slight edge to her voice.

"You've lost, G-man, admit defeat and get changed. You're killin' my buzz!" Xander complained, pulling a bottle from his bag and twisting the cap off.

Giles sighed in resignation as he took the satin trousers and headed to the bathroom, shooting a glare at his Slayer on his way.

"Score!" Xander exclaimed after downing his shot of really cheap vodka. "I told you, you would get the first glare of the evening, Buff!"

"Don't gloat, Xander, you're insufferable," Willow admonished through a fit of giggles.

"He always saves the best ones for you, you know." He said, addressing the blonde. "Watcher's pet! Since you lost, you owe me a Snickers bar."

Buffy stuck her tongue out at him and tossed him the candy bar, "Just don't get sick between the candy and the booze."

Giles reentered the room wearing a grey t-shirt and the satin pajama pants, and stalked sulkily over towards the lounge chair in the corner. His room had two double beds and currently Buffy was sitting on one while the two best friends since kindergarten were lying down on their bellies comparing the loot from their minibars on the other, like two little kids with candy on Halloween.

"So, what do we have on tap for this evening?" Giles asked, taking a seat and trying to act as though he was not entirely uncomfortable with this level of exposure with his young friends.

"We could see if there's a movie on," Willow suggested, picking up the remote and clicking her way through the channels, stopping for a moment when she hit an ad for the pay-per-view porn channel.

"Moving on!" Giles groaned, gesturing towards the TV with his left hand. It was going to be a long night... He strolled over and pulled out a few miniature bottles of whisky from the mini-fridge before heading back.

"Uh-uh, can't see the TV from there, Watcher-mine. Come sit."

"Really, Buffy, it's fine. I can-"

"What is _with_ you? I don't bite... unless you want me to," she teased, waggling her eyebrows at him as she took a sip of the beer she had cracked a few minutes earlier.

"Ha ha," was all he managed as he opened one of the bottles and downed it. Dear Lord, she was flirting with him. Too much alcohol already, he figured.

"Oh! The Princess Bride! Time to play the drinking game!" Willow shouted happily.

"What drinking game?" the chagrinned Watcher asked. As if these three needed to get any more piss drunk than they already were... Willow was an excitable mess, Xander would head towards the sentimental stage of drunkenness at any moment, and his Slayer was overly bossy and flirting with him.

Xander got up, turned off all the lights, and raided the fridge for a few beers before turning to Giles and motioning towards the bed Buffy was now reclined on. "Best sit, Big Guy, before she gets huffy. Oh, and here ... for the game," he said, passing the bottles to Giles.

Giles rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed next to the blonde, who smiled up at him before returning her attention to the screen. He took her cue and made himself comfortable, and soon all the awkwardness was forgotten. They laughed, quoted as many lines as they could in their inebriated states, and took sips and chugs as key words were said and deeds were done in the movie.

About three quarters through, several tiny bottles of alcohol lay empty and several beers had been consumed. Buffy and Giles were leaning against each other while Xander and Willow were curled up around each other on the other bed. True to form, the younger man's mood turned sentimental.

"You know... ev'ry great movie haza fellowship. Here," he slurred, motioning towards the screen with his free hand, "here you have Fezzick, Westley, Buttercup, and... and... Inigo Mont... whatever. And then... like... _The Fellowship of_... _the Ring_. You have... all... those guys... and you know, the actorsh of the movie? They all got tattoos cuz they became a fellowship... just like in the story."

"So?" Buffy asked, lolling her head towards him, trying to keep him in focus but ending up resting her head against Giles' chest.

Giles smiled a lopsided grin at her. He'd always thought she was quite beautiful, known he'd been in love with her for quite some time as well, and here she was leaning up against him, rubbing her cheek against his heart. As the younger man continued to speak, the inebriated Englishman squeezed her to him, tilted his head and gave Xander his mostly undivided attention.

"So. We're like a fellowsh... ship, too. Buffy. Giles. Will. Xander, that's me!" he grinned pointing to himself. "We should get tattoos to say so!"

"Yeah!" Willow agreed with unabashed enthusiasm.

"Does everybody have to get the same thing?" Buffy asked with a frown, "Cuz I don' wanna. I wanna get something that's just mine."

"No, cuz I'd get something magick related, and maybe Giles could get a sword or something, cuz you know, he's like the Dread Pirate Roberts with a sword," she proposed, her face opening up with that childlike innocence.

"Thanks, Wills ... Willow! Rugged, dashing... and _not _your mother, Buffy," he turned to remind her and she shook her head in agreement. "But... I'd prob'ly not get... so... mundane. Good idea, though, Xan'er!" He beamed, giggling because he was slurring too, and he found that rather amusing.

"SSHHH! Xander's sleep!" Willow instructed putting her finger to her mouth. "Tattoos tomorrow," she stated, yawning as the credits started to roll.

"Tattoos tomorrow. Right, Giles?" Buffy questioned, her eyelids beginning to droop.

Giles made himself a bit more comfortable on the bed. At some point during the movie, they had moved underneath the covers. "Right, Buffy."

She curled inward with her head resting in that space between his chest and shoulder, and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Night, Giles. Missed you!"

"Goo'night, Buffy. Missed you too," he said quietly, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head and holding her close.

"Giles?"

"Hmm?"

"Love you... never Spike," she mumbled drowsily.

"Love you too," he replied, drawing her tighter into his body, a half smile carrying him off to sleep.

Consciousness came slowly to Giles as he smelled faint traces of ozone in the air. His head should have been pounding after all the alcohol he had consumed the night before, but he felt remarkably refreshed. Magick, his brain reasoned. Willow. He assessed his physical being. His body was weighted down by something warm and soft and cuddly, with a leg and an arm draped over him. Oh, and something warm moved against his hard, satin clad groin as his captor shifted her weight.

Not quite awake yet, he moved his hand to her naked thigh and thrusted lightly against her, enjoying the friction and the feel of her against his throbbing erection as a small moan escaped his throat. He buried his nose in her hair and breathed in her scent... _Oh, dear Lord!_ he thought as consciousness finally hit, _Buffy's scent. _Slowly he opened an eye, trying not to panic. Looking at her serene face, he determined she was still asleep before scanning the room and catching sight of a freshly showered Xander walking towards him. _Why, yes, it _can_ get worse, _the mortified voice in his head told him.

"Shhh, it's okay, Giles, Willow and I woke up in a similar position, you're fine," the younger man whispered. "Hope it's all right that I used your shower. I brought a change of clothes with me last night, not wanting to do the walk of shame back to my room. Oh, and I took the liberty of ordering room service for the two of you. I told them to leave it outside since I was in the bathroom. I didn't want them to wake you guys up. Anyway, it should be here by now. I'll just bring it in before I leave. Don't forget, tattoos. We leave at 4:30 to head over to the tattoo parlor. Make sure you and Buffy meet us down in the lobby, okay?"

Giles stared at him for a moment allowing the words to sink in, "Thank you, Xander. Willow?"

"Already back in her room, probably asleep. Pretty cool of her to magick away the hangovers, huh? Left her kinda drained though," Xander answered, winking his eye. "Anyway, I think I am going to head to the dining room for some breakfast. See you later."

"Later," Giles mumbled, closing his eyes. He heard the younger man bring in the cart and the smell of breakfast wafted through the room. He had almost settled down when the body against him started to tremble in light laughter and he stifled a groan as a certain part of his anatomy reacted to the movement. Bloody fabric! How he wished she had bought him some practical pajamas instead. He was already half erect and hardening quickly. The only thing he could do was act naturally. If he didn't acknowledge the growing problem between them, then maybe she wouldn't notice. "Good morning."

"Morning," she breathed between giggles.

"You're laughing."

"You have to admit that was kinda funny," Buffy returned lifting herself up to look at him better.

"Xander or waking up with me?"

The Watcher took advantage of the change of position to roll them over to their sides and smile at her. Maybe this didn't have to be awkward even if she still kept her leg positioned between his and her free arm rested on his side.

"Xander, silly!" she replied in her patented 'duh' voice, playfully hitting him on the chest. "He's so cute trying to take care of us."

"Ah," he responded, not really knowing what to say and opting to change the subject. "Are we really getting inked?"

"Not gonna chicken out, are ya?" she teased, smiling brightly at him.

"Never!" Giles declared, returning her grin. He wouldn't back out unless the rest of them did. Not that he relished the idea of being inked again, Eyghon's mark had been quite enough, but he'd be damned if he was the only one out of the four who didn't. Besides, with all of them moving on, maybe it was for the best. They'd at least have something to remember their time together by. Not that any of them could forget, but it would be a tangible reminder all the same.

"This is different," she remarked, trailing her fingers up her Watcher's side.

"Yes," was about all Giles could manage as he closed his eyes and held his breath. When he opened them again, they had darkened and he looked into hers with a silent question as his head inched closer to hers. Not seeing an answer, he raised his hand to move a strand of her hair out of the way, changed direction, and placed a small kiss on her forehead.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, but he didn't want to lose their tenuous friendship over a silly mistake. Losing her to Rome was one thing, they could always visit one another, but losing her altogether because he'd betrayed her trust was something he didn't want to contemplate. He drew her closer and she scooted her whole body until she was flush against him.

Giles felt his cock twitch against her stomach and he couldn't hide the mortification in his eyes when she looked up at him.

"Oh!"

He sighed and threw his head back in frustration, "I'm sorry, Buffy."

"No, it's okay, Giles. I mean it's the morning and it's natural with guys. _I'm _sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"It's not your fault-"

"Yeah, I get that, it's not yours either!" she snapped, pushing back from him and hopping out of the bed. He sat up quickly, placed a pillow in his lap, and noticed her tone soften when she continued, "I'll... I'll grab a shower and you can... do what you need to... to calm down, and when I come out, we can have some breakfast together, okay?"

"Fine," he mumbled in humiliation, watching her retreat to the bathroom before slamming his fist down on the mattress. "Probably the last you'll see of her, old chap. Bloody brilliant."

Despite the disappointment and the self directed anger, his hard on still raged between his legs, not wanting to be denied. He tried conjugating verbs in three different dead languages and conjured up some fairly nasty images involving past demon deaths, but nothing helped. He stared in the direction of the bathroom. She'd turned on the shower but hadn't stepped into it yet. Perhaps if he knocked on the door and asked whether he could use it first, turn the taps all the way to cold? No, that wouldn't help, he'd be standing there in front of her fully exposed through the stupid satin pajama bottoms she'd insisted he wear, and she'd be totally... what was the word he was looking for? Ah, yes, _wigged_. Best to let her have the shower and he'd sort himself out when he'd hear the water pressure change.

He didn't have to wait long, and while he felt a bit like a pervert, she _had_ told him to take care of his problem while she was in bathroom. He took off his shirt, threw it on the floor, and lowered the waist of the pajama bottoms down past his hips. It wasn't like this was the first time he would touch himself while fantasizing about her, it was just the fact that she was in the next room, naked and in his shower; the girl of his dreams so close, yet a million miles beyond his reach.

Grabbing his hot, throbbing erection with his left hand, he started to stroke himself. When he closed his eyes, he could still feel her arms wrapped around him, and the smell of her perfume still lingered on the pillow next to him. He squeezed his cock harder as he thrust into his hand. Had she not been in the next room, the frustrated Watcher would have drawn this out since he now knew the feel of her against him, but the logical part of his brain, not to mention his eager body, betrayed the extended fantasy as he spread his precum down his shaft. _God, yes. _He was already so close and he started to pump faster and harder as he remembered how she felt writhing with laughter against him, her thigh rubbing up against his hardening cock. Feeling his balls tighten, he stroked his shaft a few more times, gave one last thrust, and bit down on his lip in a Herculean effort to remain quiet as he felt his release come in waves. It had been a long time since he had come that hard, her proximity eliciting a primal calling within him.

As his breathing calmed, coherent thought entered his mind again. _You've made quite the mess of things, Giles... literally,_ he berated himself while looking down at his cum covered belly, chest and hand. He had to admit that part of him felt rather alpha male looking down at the evidence of his lasciviousness, but still, he had fucked it up where Buffy was concerned and that thought sobered him up immediately. He looked around for tissues or something to clean up with, but there was nothing within reach so he decided to mop up the evidence using the sheets. The housekeeping staff would be in later to change the linens anyway. Tucking himself back into his pants, he reached down, picked up his shirt, and headed over to the vanity sink next to the bathroom.

He took a washcloth from the rack, and just as he was about to turn on the hot water, he heard his Slayer let out a sob. Placing both hands on the counter, he leaned in and closed his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. _Christ, Giles! You fucking wanker!_ He wasn't sure what he could do to fix things, but first things first, he really needed to wash up. He could shower after breakfast, _if_ she stayed for it, which he was fairly sure she wouldn't at this point. Not if he had reduced her to tears and sent her running for the safety of the shower.

Having cleaned himself up, he reached into the shopping bag for some clean clothes and found he was down to his last pair of jeans and a blue polo shirt. Luckily he still had a few more days of underwear left, and he got dressed in a rush when he heard Buffy turn the shower off. His heart started to pound and he wasn't sure what to expect.

She emerged from the bathroom fully clothed in jeans and a pink t-shirt. Apparently, she too had brought a change of clothes over and placed them in the bathroom when he wasn't looking. Her hair was still wet, but she had run a comb through it and he thought she looked radiant.

"Hey," she greeted, stepping into the bedroom, shoving her hands in her back pockets.

Leaning over to put on his socks and boots, thereby cleverly avoiding eye contact, Giles answered, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Um..."

"Sorry, stupid question."

"Things are fine, Buffy," he reassured her in his calm Watcher voice, trying to normalize the situation. Braving her scrutiny, he caught her eyes and continued, "I'm just about ready. You want to have a look and see what Xander ordered us for breakfast?"

"Sure." She walked over to the tray and pulled the lid off. "Bacon, pancakes, orange juice, milk, and, oh! Xander, you are the _best!"_ she exclaimed.

"What is it?"

"Four jellies!"

"Really, jellies?"

"Look for yourself."

Sure enough, there were four powdered donuts with blackberry jelly seeping out of them. "I can't remember the last time I had a jelly. Thank you, Xander!" Giles agreed with enthusiasm as he walked over and retrieved one of the favored confections.

The pair ate the donuts in an uncomfortable silence, neither knowing quite what to say to the other. When they finished breakfast, the Watcher and Slayer continued to look for something to jump start conversation. Finally, Buffy broke the silence.

"I'm going for a run. Wanna join me?"

Giles stared at her, contemplating the offer, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. "Thank you, but... uh... I think it best if I..." He allowed himself to trail off, not thinking of a damned thing he really needed to do.

"Yeah, probably for the best," the Slayer said, looking down at the floor. She hurried over to him, kissed him on the cheek, and headed for the door. As she grabbed the handle, she turned and added quietly, "For the record, it was really nice waking up with you this morning."

Giles lifted his head. Since the quick kiss, he had kept his focus on the ground, trying to calm his emotions, but now he offered her a slight smile. "My pleasure, Buffy. I shall see you at 4:30, yes?"

"I'll be there," she answered and left his hotel room, the door slamming behind her of its own volition, echoing through his entire being.

"My pleasure? Of course she knows that, you prat!" the angry Watcher muttered as he went to clean up some of the mess in his room. It wasn't as bad as he originally thought it would be, maybe Xander had done some cleaning before taking his shower this morning.

XxXxXxXx

At 4:00pm, Giles could stand it no longer and headed to the bar. He wasn't going to drink, not after last night's overindulgence and complete lapse in judgment, he just needed something to do, someone to talk mindless drivel with to take his mind off of the situation with his Slayer. Yes, _his_. Even if she never wanted to see him again, in his mind she would always be his. The distractions he had provided himself with earlier in the day had done nothing to relieve his preoccupation with their situation. He had gone out for a walk, retrieved his rental from the restaurant they'd left it at the previous evening, and picked up a couple more pairs of pants and a few shirts to tide him over for the next several days. His stay in London was open ended and he wasn't sure what he might find when he returned to his home outside of Bath, knowing full well that the Bringers must've ransacked it all those months ago on their quest to destroy the Watcher's Council and assassinate all the Potentials and Watchers.

"Lookin' a little maudlin there, Mr Giles. Anything I can do?" Dan asked as he approached the depressed Watcher.

"Not sure there's much anyone can do," he replied honestly. "But, thank you."

"Ah, girl trouble," the astute barkeeper responded. "Can I get you a beer or something stronger?"

"Orange juice if you have it," Giles shrugged, not acknowledging his companion's observation.

"Couldn't serve screwdrivers if I didn't."

"No, I suppose not," he muttered, taking the juice when it was handed to him and downing half of it before setting the glass down.

"Got plans tonight?"

"Getting inked."

"Really? You don't seem the type."

"Not anymore. But... this... is special, a farewell of sorts."

"Yeah?"

Giles looked at Dan and nodded, effectively ending their conversation. "Thanks for the juice."

"No problem. Wanna charge it to the room?"

"Please," Giles answered, heading out to the lobby to meet his party. He still had about ten minutes to spare, but he was anxious and couldn't sit still. Not that pacing the lobby would help, but sitting definitely taxed his nerves.

XxXxXx

The three friends arrived in the lobby together and Willow smiled and waved at him. _Safety in numbers, _the melancholy Watcher mused, noticing that Buffy didn't acknowledge him, her focus fixed on Xander who seemed to be leading the troupe.

"Hey G-man, ready to add some color to that pasty English body of yours?"

Giles shot him a glare, but since he was in a foul mood, he didn't trust himself enough not to send a scathing barb the young man's way, instead deciding to ignore him. "I'll drive. Shall we go, then?"

"We looked for you to come to lunch with us, Giles, but you were gone. Where did you go?" Willow asked with concern after getting into the rental and strapping in.

"I needed to buy some more clothes, a suitcase in which to pack them, and retrieve the car from the restaurant," he answered matter-of-factly, surprised when Buffy sat next to him in the front passenger seat. "So, do you know where this place is, Xander?"

"Yup, down off Main, just beyond the laundromat. There's a parking lot a few blocks down if we can't find a spot on the street."

"Alright," Giles said as he clicked his seatbelt. When he lifted his head, Buffy gave him a small smile and placed her hand on his forearm, acknowledging him for the first time that evening. He backed the car out of the parking space and asked conversationally, "How was your run?"

"It was good. I got in about ten miles and there was lots of time to think. Sorry you couldn't make it to lunch with us."

"Yes, well, had I known." The response seemed formal, stilted, and more than a little accusatory, and he groaned inwardly when he realized that the pettiness was coming through. Yes, her reaction had been somewhat immature, but he should have removed himself from the situation upon waking up. Instead, he did exactly what he was trying to avoid; he broke her trust.

When they arrived at the shop, his three younger companions looked intimidated. Maybe they would just turn around and leave? Although at this point, he'd come back later without them since he had committed himself to the idea. Giles had to wonder if Buffy thought at all about her last tattoo, done under the cowardly but talented hands of Ethan Rayne. Ethan always had a flair for art, but had preferred to dabble in Chaos. A few days after the incident, Giles had overheard his Slayer talking with Willow, lamenting the fact that she wasn't sure she would be able to keep hiding the mark from her mother until she could raise the funds to have it removed. Having felt more than a little guilty about the whole incident, he figured paying for its removal was the least he could do, and, with her Slayer healing, unless you had been there, you would never have known she'd been marked.

"So, who's first?" a heavily inked young man asked, coming out from the back.

"Uh... that would be me," Xander said, stepping forward and turning to address the rest, "since it was my idea and all."

"'Will you walk into my parlour, said the spider to the fly,'" the artist quipped, noticing his client's discomfort. "Often misquoted, but never really gets old. The name's James."

"Do you know what he's getting?" Buffy asked Willow, her eyes following Xander as he passed through the door to the back rooms.

"No idea. When I asked him this morning, he said maybe he'd talk about it after he got back from tracking down new Slayers in Africa. I'm worried about him, Buff."

Giles put an arm around the witch and drew her towards him, "He'll be fine, Willow. He just needs his time to mourn Anya a-and his parents. Even though the latter relationship was unhealthy, they were still his family and I am sure he needs to work through these... uh, issues."

"Yeah, I know, but... Africa... big place, very rural, and Xander's a suburban kinda guy," the redhead explained, her eyes full of worry.

A few minutes later another artist came out, a woman named Trish, and Buffy took the initiative to go next, handing a piece of paper over as they walked into the back together.

"That leaves just you and me, Giles, waiting for the gallows," Willow mused only half-jokingly.

"You don't have to do this, Willow."

"I know, but I think it's important. This is kinda it, Giles. I have a morning flight tomorrow, Xander leaves tomorrow afternoon, and then the day after Buffy flies to Rome and you to London. At least we'll be close with me in Devon."

Giles swallowed that all too familiar lump in his throat. It was one thing for him to think these things, another to hear them voiced by someone else. "We'll all just need to make an effort to not lose touch, then."

"Yeah."

They waited for about an hour before Xander came out pulling his shirt down over his torso. "James is just cleaning up and will be out to grab one of you in a moment. So, who's next?"

"I'll go," Giles said. It honestly didn't matter if he went now or later, but he wanted to give Willow her out, should she want it.

XxXxXx

A couple hours later, Giles emerged from the back of the shop shaking James' hand. He found Buffy sitting in a chair waiting for him, but the others were missing. When he tilted his head in silent communication, she responded, "We're going to meet them for dinner at the tavern down the street... if you don't have plans already."

Giles sighed, hating the uneasiness between them, "I don't have other plans. The point of us all taking a couple extra days after everybody left was to spend time together before we head off on our separate ways, Buffy. My plans are to spend as much time as I can with you, Xander, and Willow."

After handing the tattoo artist his credit card, the sore Watcher signed the receipt. In retrospect maybe he should have placed the tattoo elsewhere, but that would have reduced its meaning in his eyes.

"I didn't want to assume after... this morning," she vocalized, looking away and biting her lip.

Taking the seat next to her, he pulled off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Look, I told you, it's nothing. You're not to blame, I'm sorry things... turned for the worse there-"

"Hey, I don't wanna interrupt you two love birds, but I gotta kick ya out," James called out as he came back through the door. "Closin' time."

Giles' blushed and grimaced. "We're... uh... not together... like that," he tried to explain before realizing that James was probably being flippant, and looked at his watch to avoid further embarrassment.

"Sorry, we're leaving now," Buffy apologized. "Please give Trish my thanks, again. She did some amazing work today." Turning to Giles, she asked, "Ready to go?"

As they walked down the street, he noticed she had clammed up again. No doubt that love birds comment undid any progress they might have made. Wanting to reassure her, he said, "Buffy, don't take what that prat said to heart. He was being facetious and-"

"I think I am going to see if I can change my flight for tomorrow night, Giles," she announced, interrupting him.

Giles stopped dead in his tracks. This was it. "I-If you feel you must."

"It's just that Will and Xander are both leaving tomorrow..."

Choking back his disappointment, but not surprised by her decision, he responded before she could continue, "I understand." _Run, Buffy. Avoiding personal issues is what you do best. _"I'll change mine, too, then, and we can drive to the airport together."

Her voice was harsh as she spoke, "Fine."

They continued in agonizing silence to the tavern where they joined Willow and Xander for dinner. He felt some relief in their presence, but the atmosphere was more subdued than the previous night, and even though he played the part of friend, mentor, and Watcher flawlessly, his heart wasn't in it. Buffy only interacted with him when absolutely necessary, and so he did his best to carry the conversation with his two other companions, who looked for all the world a little lost at the change of mood between the Watcher and Slayer.

When the karaoke started, he ordered a bottle of beer and stood against the back wall, watching the silliness on the stage with melancholy detachment.

Xander took up sentry next to him. "What's going on, Giles? You look like you lost big at kitty poker."

"At what?"

"Kitty poker. You know, the card game preference of 95% of all demons in Sunnydale. Seriously, what's the what?"

"I'm just ... An end of an era, Xander. That's all. Go up and sing something."

"Nah, my warbling sends dogs into a frenzy. You though, you should go up."

"Don't put yourself down. You did quite well during our musical number a few years back. Never, ever, doubt yourself." The Watcher gave Xander a wan smile. "As for me, I think I am done tonight. Give my best to the girls, I'll be up early to say goodbye to you and Willow. Here are the keys. I can get a cab."

"Sure, Giles, and thanks."

He knew that Xander knew more than he was letting on, perhaps Buffy had said something to him earlier, but he was glad that his friend was letting him go without protest. The only person he wanted to talk to at the moment didn't want to talk to him, not in a private setting anyway. Giles put down the bottle on the bar and headed out to find a taxi.

XxXxXxXx

The tired Watcher rose at six the next morning after experiencing a restless night. He rubbed his face and swung his legs over the edge of the bed to get ready for the day. The four of them were meeting for breakfast before Willow and Xander had to leave for the airport.

After having showered, shaved, cared for his healing tattoo, and dressed, he made his way down to the hotel's dining room to meet his party. He stretched out his left arm as he went, feeling the tenderness in his pectoral muscle. It would heal soon enough, but for the moment the sting and soreness were still evident, reflecting what he felt on the inside. As he entered the dining room, he found he was the last to arrive and quickly joined the others.

"Good morning. Are you all ready to go?" Giles asked, placing his hands on Willow and Xander's shoulders before taking the empty chair at the table.

Willow looked as though she would burst into tears any moment, but she gave him a bright watery-eyed smile when she nodded.

"What she means to say through her nonverbal actions is that we are all packed and ready to fly."

"You sure you don't want to stay a few hours longer, Xan? Your flight is so much later," Buffy pointed out.

"Nah, I'd just be restless sitting around the hotel. No offense to you two, I'm just a nervous traveller. Besides, someone has to keep Will company while she waits for boarding, and since I have a boarding pass, I can go with her past security. It's all good. Now, how about ordering some chow?"

Giles wondered if Buffy had changed her flight. In the end, he'd decided not to bother. What did it matter, really, another twenty-four hours in this faceless suburb of LA?

The group ordered breakfast and kept the conversation lighthearted, making plans to see each other in six months time, and leaving the destination for their reunion up in the air for the time being. He did, of course, invite all of them to stay with him anytime and for any reason, offering a small smile to Buffy, who sat across from him, ensuring that she knew the invitation was meant for her as well.

After swallowing a bite of his French toast, Giles addressed his Slayer, "What time is your flight this evening?"

He noticed that both Xander's and Willow's eyes widened at the question and they turned their heads towards Buffy awaiting her response.

"I didn't change it. I got in late last night and there's no point in doing it today. They've probably got a huge line for standby already," she said calmly.

"Then it looks like we're both here until tomorrow evening."

Buffy nodded, keeping her focus on her coffee cup before suggesting, "We should decide what to do, then."

Surprised, Giles grunted in agreement since his mouth was full. Though, honestly, he couldn't think of what that might entail, other than sitting around trying not to say anything that would cause her to go running for the hills. How many times was he going to have to apologize for poor judgment and a natural physical reaction?

Having finished breakfast, Xander looked at his watch, "We've got ten minutes before the shuttle leaves for LAX, Will. I think it's time to get those final goodbyes in."

Willow gave the tall Brit as big a hug as she could and allowed her tears to fall. "I'm already missing you! Promise you'll call me after you get settled in London? I'll come visit and we can laugh at all the tweed in the new Council headquarters. Unless, of course you go back to wearing tweed, and then I'll just be all stoic about it."

Returning her embrace, Giles laughed as the tears formed in his eyes and he planted a kiss on her cheek before promising, "I burned all my tweed years ago, so we'll both have a good laugh. Safe journey, my sweet Willow."

When the redhead let him go and made a mad dash for Buffy, the Watcher pulled off his glasses and wiped the tears from his eyes. Looking up, he saw Xander waiting for him, wearing a serious expression, his brown eye watery. Giles shoved his specs into one of the pockets of his cargo pants and pulled the young man into a bear hug.

"You fucking watch your back in Africa, you hear me? First thing you do when you land is you get a satellite phone and the second thing you do is register with the US Embassy, understood? Every new country, you register with your government!"

"Yes, dad," Xander replied, only half-jokingly. He then lowered his voice to a whisper and affected a very serious tone, "Now you do something for me, for all of us. Whatever broke between you and Buffy, fix it. Cuz this can't go on, Giles. I know we can never go back to when things were good, but you need to fix your relationship. Both of you are so damn broken. Put the bad stuff behind you and start a new chapter, whatever."

"Yes, dad," Giles mimicked, though he had no idea how to do that when Buffy was barely speaking, had barely spoken on a personal level to him since her resurrection two years ago.

The younger man pulled out of the embrace, picked up his suitcase, and said, "I'll stay in touch, I promise, Big Guy. Take care."

"You as well."

Giles watched as Xander and Willow exited the hotel lobby, and when he saw them glance back over their shoulders, he gave a little wave. Spying his Slayer next to him, he noticed she had her arms wrapped around her middle, her shoulders shaking violently as she cried in silence, and his heart broke for her.

He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder in support, and she turned inward, sliding her arms around him, sobbing into his chest. He instinctively enveloped her in his strong embrace, and, in that moment of need, almost everything between them was forgotten. The hotel lobby grew crowded with people heading out for the day or checking out, and Giles ushered her over to the elevator and guided her in, figuring she wouldn't want to make a public spectacle of herself. He wasn't sure where to take her, whether she'd want him in her room, and he certainly didn't want her to feel uncomfortable returning her to his. Making an executive decision, he led her down the hall to where he felt she would be more at ease.

Her crying had mostly subsided, just a few errant sniffles and stray tears fell now, and when they arrived at her door, she pulled out the keycard and opened it. "Do you, uh... want to come in?"

"It's up to you, Buffy. I'm here if you need me," Giles offered softly, shoving his right hand in his pocket.

"You'd think they were moving to another planet with all my blubbering," she said, gesturing a silent invitation.

He followed her in. "I think perhaps you are rather stretched to the limit emotionally with all that's happened, and your reaction is a very natural one. I'll admit I shed a few tears, as well. They are family, it's expected."

Buffy gazed up at him and he pulled away from her when he detected something coming at him from his peripheral vision. A heartbeat later, he noticed the flare in her eyes, and braced himself for her to unleash her displeasure on him.

"Geez Giles, are you _that_ repulsed by me?"

"What are you going on about?"

"You know, I can't really deal with this right now. Can you just... please leave?"

"Buffy-"

"Leave, Giles, before I say or do something that I really don't want to."

She was pacing wildly, her hands balled into a fist, but the frustrated Watcher had just about run out of patience with her. He grabbed her wrist and made her face him before he directed his ire at her.

"Maybe you should let go. Say what you want, hit me if you have to, but, my God, I can't take this emotional roller coaster any longer." He raised his voice as his irritation sprung out of him. "I've spent the better part of twenty-four hours trying to figure out where the hell I went so wrong. _We_ were drunk. _We_ woke up in a compromising position. _I've_ apologized, I never meant to touch you in anyway that you might find offensive, it was an _accident._ I'm sorry to have so abruptly woken you up to the fact that I am a _man_ and _these things happen_. I've been nothing less than a gentleman since. We have seven years of history together and I have never once, not one time, _ever_ laid my hands on you in an inappropriate manner. So tell me, Buffy, why am I the recipient of so much of your anger?"

"I know you're a man! God, how I know. I told you I loved you!" she spat allowing the tears to fall down her face.

"I know. I remember returning the sentiment. We were quite inebriated at the time."

"Fuck you! _Fuck_ _you_!" she yelled as she shoved him in the chest. He lost his balance, clutched his left pectoral as he tripped backwards over her open suitcase on the floor, and landed with a thud.

Wincing, he stood up, keeping his right arm up in a defensive position, but relaxing his body into a neutral stance, trying to placate her fury. His chest hurt with a passion and he was thoroughly confused by her outburst. In an effort to calm her rage, he said, "I know it was nothing more than drunken sentiment, Buffy. I never expect anything from you."

If it were possible, it seemed to him as though this only made her angrier, and she ran her hands through her hair as she continued her diatribe, "I _slept_ with you!"

"_Nothing_ happened. I held you, that is all!"

She quieted down and looked at him, eyes filled with sadness. "What is wrong with me, Giles?"

He stared at her, honestly trying to come up with an answer, before calmly suggesting, "I think... I think it's just stress-"

"No! You said it wasn't my fault. I mean, why aren't you attracted to me?"

"_What?" _

"I fell asleep with you holding me and it was the best sleep I've had since I can remember. No nightmares, no prophetic dreams... just warmth. I felt... and then I opened my eyes and you were still there, and I was happy, Giles, and you looked happy too. Don't you get it?"

"I _was_ happy," he answered quietly, wanting to pull the glasses from his face for a good polish before remembering that he wasn't wearing them.

"And I thought you were going to kiss me. I mean, you did, but not... and then when we got closer... the look of disgust on your face..."

"I-"

"Let me get this out, okay? Because I can't take this emotional roller coaster anymore either," she said in a hushed voice. Resting his hands in his lap, he nodded for her to continue. "I get it, you aren't attracted to me. I thought maybe... but you can't stand to be around me, have me close... not... not like that anyway, and even a simple touch to wipe away tear stains is too much for you. I don't want to lose you, Giles, not again. Even though you were so far away, I knew that you wanted what was best for me, especially after you came back and battled Willow. When you left the second time, I was okay with it because I knew you were still watching out for me, that you had my back."

"I'll always be there for you, Buffy," he stated with conviction, "even when we are apart."

She gave him a small smile. "I know you will."

He watched her start to pace, but this time it wasn't frantic. Her face was full of turmoil and she was wringing her hands. He knew her gestures and motions so well. She was trying to decide whether to tell him something that was private and important to her.

"I want to show you something, okay?" she said as she turned around and pulled the hem of her shirt up. Giles' eyes went wide. He was unable to ask her what she was doing, or to stop, and she turned her head before lifting her shirt further.

"Relax, Giles, I'm just going to show you my tattoo."

Buffy pulled off her shirt, clutching it to her chest. She wasn't wearing a bra, presumably so as not to interfere with the healing, even though the area was almost completely healed already. The Watcher stood up and walked over to her to look at the image on her upper left shoulder blade. Sweeping her long blonde hair out of the way, Giles lightly trailed his fingers over the tat. It was of a puma with pale green eyes. The animal was lying down, though its head was raised, alert, and the muscles in its neck were tense, as though it was watching something in the distance. Its front left paw rested on the hilt of a sword at the ready. The blade looked exactly like the one Giles regularly used, and the cat wore an ornate collar with a tag that looked like a shield. Looking closely, the awed Watcher's eyes went wide when he noticed his initials within, done in his own script. Below the puma, etched in a banner was the phrase _Semper Vigilans_.

"Always watching," he whispered as he brought his right hand down to rest on her hip. He was in very real danger of breaking down, his defenses completely shot to hell.

"Yeah. Do you know why I chose the Puma?"

"No," he replied, still inspecting the work on her back, totally mesmerized, unable to keep himself from touching it again.

"Pumas represent courage and power, and yet they are skillful hunters known for their patience and observation, constantly watching and very intuitive. But they are also fierce and aggressive in a fight. You're the puma, Giles. The collar... symbolizes your inner nobility, like what knights used to wear. In the tag... they're your initials, you belong to no-one but yourself. And when we say goodbye, I'll have this to remind me of our time together and that you're watching from afar."

Giles closed his eyes fighting his emotions, his heart beating like it was going to pound its way out of his chest. Placing a feather light kiss on the tattoo, he felt her shiver beneath the caress and unconsciously moved her closer to him, wrapping his right arm around her waist and his left around her upper chest as he drew her flush against him, and she brought one of her arms up so she could return his embrace. Resting his forehead against the back of her head, he took in a ragged breath, tears falling from his eyes.

"You're so very wrong, Buffy," he corrected between the stifled sobs. "I belong to you. God help me, but I do. Thank you. For this."

He could feel her silently weeping in his arms. He had to tell her, had to be honest with her. He knew now that she loved him. One wouldn't adorn their body in tribute like this if they didn't. He should know.

"Giles?"

"Yes?"

"There's one more thing... and I know, you don't, and it's okay. I'll be okay, I promise." She turned in his arms and looked up at him through her tear laden green eyes.

"Shhhh," Giles whispered, placing a finger against her lips. "My turn."

As he pulled out of their embrace and started to unbutton his shirt, he kept his eyes steadily trained on hers, and noticed how she drew in a sharp breath as she lowered her eyes to the colorful adornment on his chest. Stepping into his personal space with mere inches separating them, the astounded Slayer placed her left hand on his shoulder to steady herself, her shallow breath hot on his skin as she inspected the tattoo.

"It's beautiful," Buffy whispered, as captivated with his tat as he was with hers. She gently ran her fingers over the ink before she looked up into his jade green eyes and asked, "You're still red, does it hurt?"

"Not anymore," he returned huskily, mesmerized by her gaze, their lips just inches apart. The tension between them was so thick he couldn't focus on anything but her.

"Tell me," she breathed as she lowered her head to study the image on his chest.

His tattoo sat above his heart and consisted of a falcon in flight, just having snatched the Slayer's scythe, the jesses that bind a bird to its master falling free of its legs. Written on the jesses was an inscription in Latin _Tecum Meus Animus Se Tollit,_ and the blade of the scythe had her initials etched within.

He started his narrative, his voice deep and raw with emotion, "In ancient Egypt, the falcon is associated with the rising sun. In Northern Europe, it is a warlike symbol. You are my falcon, Buffy, you have vision, wisdom, power, and you are the guardian of the light. You have an intensity and determination that I have never seen before and never will again."

"My scythe."

"Yes. The Slayer's weapon. You will always be _The_ Slayer. The scythe is yours. But, with the others, you are free, and so the falcon takes flight and loses her jesses. No one to hold her back."

She traced the inscribed leather bindings with her right index finger. Giles' breathing became erratic and he bit back a moan.

"What does it say?" she asked looking up into his face.

"My heart soars with you" he answered, his eyes intense, sadness tingeing his voice.

"You let me go," Buffy uttered in despair, a stray tear falling down her cheek and she rested her head against his chest, fisting her left hand in his chest hair.

"I did."

She looked completely devastated and Giles could see the war waging within her. When she tried to back out of his arms, he held her tightly to him.

"I had to, Buffy, but you'll remain_ here_," the Watcher said softly, tapping the tattoo over his heart. "Always."

"What if I came back?" she whispered through the tears.

Her words were almost inaudible, but he heard them and closed his eyes, willing her to do just that. She kissed his tattoo lightly once and then again with more pressure, the sensation pushing him almost beyond coherent thought.

"Buffy, you need to stop, I can't-"

"It hurts, Giles. I'm so in love with you and you-"

Hearing her declaration, he grabbed her face with both hands, lifted it up to meet his, and plundered her mouth, his tongue dominating hers. She dropped her shirt and raised her hands to cup his face trying to pull him closer. Giles could sense her urgency, and it ignited his passion further. Tracing his left hand down over the gentle swell of her breast, her side, and over her hip, he cupped her rear, pulling her closer to him. Buffy responded, moaning into his mouth.

Breaking their kiss, he looked down at her, his breathing rapid, his pupils dilated with yearning. Her face was flushed with desire and her lips swollen from his assault, and he could not think of a time in which she'd looked more beautiful. Even the lingering tears in her eyes only made them sparkle even more brightly in the low light of the room.

Recapturing her lips, he lingered for a moment before placing kisses along her jawline and down her neck into the hollow where it met her shoulder. He ran his hands up her back as he sucked and nibbled the tender flesh and she moaned in pleasure, placing a hand on the back of his neck, holding him captive.

"Yes, Giles!" Buffy cried, her breathing erratic.

He raised his head and took possession of her mouth once more, loving the way her lips felt on his, before leading her over to the bed. When the back of her thighs hit the mattress, their kiss ended and he gingerly laid her down onto the bed, settling himself between her legs, and supporting his weight with his right hand.

"You're so beautiful, Buffy," he murmured in adoration, running the back of his fingers down her cheek, over her neck, and between her breasts.

She reached up to stroke his cheek and he turned into her caress, needing the tactile reassurance of her love. The decision to free her from her metaphorical jesses had torn him apart and he knew if he made love to her now, he would never be able to let her go.

"Touch me, Giles," she pleaded, desperately arching into his teasing hands as she moved her left hand up his torso to his chest, lightly pinching his pebbled nipple.

He groaned. He was already hard, but the desire and need in her voice along with the erotic pain made him acutely aware of his condition and he thrust against her core in a futile effort to relieve the ache. She instinctively ground against him and let out a soft hiss. Leaning over, Giles trailed his tongue around her nipple before taking the hard nub into his mouth and sucking gently. Her hands moved to his belt and she desperately tried to undo the buckle.

"What do you want, Buffy?" he asked, lifting his head and seeing the frustration in her eyes.

She grabbed his shoulders, quickly flipping him over and straddling him, immediately attacking his belt, then the button on his cargo pants, before unzipping them and pulling them down.

"Easy, love, my glasses are in the left pocket."

Startled, she tilted her head in a moment of recognition. "That's why you backed away from me, you couldn't see."

Lying on the bed with his trousers open and pulled down just past his hips, his erection straining against his boxer briefs, the Englishman nodded. "Just saw something coming at me, didn't know what it was," he admitted, lifting himself up onto an elbow and reaching out to cup her cheek. "I think it's fairly obvious what you do to me."

Her eyes dropped to his groin. "Jesus, Giles."

"God I want you, Buffy."

She carefully pulled the cargo pants the rest of the way down, mindful of his glasses, before realizing he still had his boots on. Giles chuckled when she shot him a glare as she undid the laces and pulled them off. The Slayer then quickly divested him of his trousers, socks, and underwear. Giles grabbed the pants from her, pulling out his specs and his wallet. When she gave him a confused look, he casually stated, "Condom," before placing both on the nightstand next to the bed.

"We won't need that for a while," she replied with a devilish grin as she ran her hands up his long, lean thighs, deliberately avoiding his rampant cock. She moved up his torso to his chest, placing open mouthed kisses as she went.

Giles fell back against the pillows and whimpered under her ministrations, especially when she avoided the one area that needed attention the most. She leaned over his body, brushing his shaft against her belly and he undulated against her, leaving a trail of sticky precum over her abs. When she found the sensitive spot on his neck just under his ear, he turned his head to the side and shuddered. His hands found their way to her breasts, lightly teasing her nipples, and she let out a soft sigh against his ear, took the silver hoop he still wore in her teeth and tugged on it.

"Yes!" he cried, moving his hands to the waistband of her jeans, stating, "Too many clothes."

"Not yet. Grab the headboard," the Slayer commanded in a whisper, and he hurried to obey her order. Moving down his body, she buried her face between his legs, licking her way up his throbbing cock. He let out a strangled yell, trying not to thrust against her, and was rewarded for his efforts when she took him whole in her hot mouth. After sucking her way down and back up his length, she dipped her tongue into the slit and tasted him, vocalizing her approval through an appreciative hum.

"Feels amazing, love," he muttered through clenched teeth, attempting to stay still.

She nibbled lightly around the head before tracing the pulsating vein down to the velvety skin of his sac, sucking one of his balls into her mouth. Giles clutched the headboard tighter in his hands as he began to flail beneath her. When she returned her mouth to his cock, he felt her hand clutch him firmly around the base and lightly stroke him while she wound her tongue around the head. She worked him into a frenzy, taking him to the edge twice without letting him go over.

He whimpered and writhed against her and she applied more pressure as she pumped his thick shaft up and down with her hand, moving the other one down to massage his testicles. Feeling a familiar tightening in his lower abdominals and groin, he grabbed her shoulder, a sense of urgency reflected in his eyes. "Buffy, stop! I'm going to come!"

She looked back at him, her eyes gleaming with mischief, as she took him deep into her throat. Her head bobbed up and down several more times as she sucked even harder, her tongue caressing his cock.

"Oh God! Buffy!" he screamed, finding his release and grabbing the headboard for all he was worth as his hips lifted off the mattress. She pushed him back down, greedily swallowing his seed, and, when he was finished, cleaned him thoroughly before placing a gentle kiss on the tip. He reached for her in desperation, pulling her into his arms, and, as he fought through the aftershocks and regained control over his breathing, he rolled them onto their sides and held onto her with everything he had.

When he finally managed to open his eyes, he found Buffy staring at him, her eyes full of wonder, and he gave her a tiny smile.

"Watcha thinking?" she asked, her voice serene.

"I... uh... that was..." He was lost and a blush rose to his cheeks. Or rather, he was in a state of disbelief, if truth be told. Buffy was in his arms, she had just given him the best orgasm of his entire life, and she told him she was in love with him. Not knowing what to say, he placed sweet little kisses on her lips, along her jaw, and on her cheek.

Resting his forehead against hers, he murmured, "I can't find the words."

"Then don't say anything," she breathed, tracing his lips with the pad of her index finger.

Giles sucked her finger into his mouth, teasing the tip of it with his tongue while running his hand down her back, over her firm bottom, and down the back of her thigh, lightly trailing his fingertips over the soft denim. Feeling her shudder, he released her finger and couldn't help but smile into her shoulder.

He wasn't surprised when he felt his cock twitch to life again, he'd always recovered quickly, but he was surprised by the physical intensity of it. He supposed it had to do with the depth of his feelings for her, and gave it no more thought as he rolled her over onto her back. Admiring her figure, the aroused Watcher looked down at his Slayer and trailed open-mouthed kisses down her neck and over her chest to her breast, where he licked and sucked at the hardened bud. She was highly sensitive and started to grind against him when he took her nipple between his teeth. He let go and found her staring wide eyed at him.

"I think the other one might be jealous," he uttered playfully, his voice low with desire as he kept his eyes trained on hers.

She chuckled and nodded, "Definitely jealous."

"I'll need to take care of that, then," he said, his mouth descending onto the neglected nipple and flicking it with his tongue. She let out a moan and arched into his mouth, giving him greater access as he latched on. He supported himself with one hand while he explored her taut stomach with the other, allowing his fingers to tease the skin just under the waistband of her jeans while he continued his exploration of her breasts.

"Giles," she pleaded.

"Am I permitted to remove the rest of your clothing now?" he asked in a teasing voice, fingering the skin just beneath the button on her pants.

"Yes. God, yes!"

Sitting back on his knees, he deftly popped the button, and moved down her body, resting his hands on her hips as he leaned down to caress her torso with his lips and cheeks. Slowly he moved his way southward, mouthing his way to the edge of the fabric, where he drew down the zipper and hitched his fingers into the fabric of her jeans and panties.

Giles raised his eyes and she gave him a nod. She wore a sweet smile, though her eyes were filled with desire, and he grinned at her before removing the last barrier between them. Ghosting his fingers over her calves and up her thighs, he gingerly spread her legs. The sight of her baring herself to him caused him to hesitate a moment and he closed his eyes, his emotions threatening to come to the surface. When he was certain he had himself under control, he nuzzled his nose between her folds. He found her hot and slick, and he breathed in her scent.

"Jesus, Buffy, so wet... I cannot wait to taste you," he declared, reaching for her left hand with his right, lacing their fingers together before resting them on her hip. With his left, he opened her up to him as he licked his way up and over her clitoris. She bucked against him, moaning, and he explored her pussy with his tongue while she squirmed beneath his ministrations. Slowly he entered her with a finger, adding a second digit when he felt her relax around him. Still sucking and teasing her highly sensitive nub, he started to thrust his fingers within her. Buffy let go of his hand as her movements became erratic and her breathing irregular.

"Giles, please, I need-"

Curling his fingers, he brushed over her g-spot several times, while continuing to suck at the bundle of nerves, and he felt her inner muscles tighten around his fingers and her body stiffened as she came. She grabbed his right hand again and he raised his eyes to watch her body shudder through her release while she screamed his name. _Beautiful and unguarded_, he thought as he gently brought her down, his heart soaring.

He lifted himself up and laid down next to her, taking her in his arms and she positioned herself over the right side of his body. Nuzzling into his chest, she traced the outline of the falcon over his heart with two fingers while he unconsciously ran his over the puma on her shoulder blade. She glanced up at him and he gave her an adoring smile.

"You never cease to amaze me, love," he said softly, combing his fingers through her hair and gazing into her stormy green eyes.

Buffy returned his smile before settling back down on his chest. Brushing her upper thigh against his, she caused him to shudder and buck against her as he thrust his heavy cock into her belly button.

"You're hard again," she giggled, wrapping a hand around his erection.

"Have been for some time," he answered, his voice rough as he stifled a groan. Placing his hand over her hers, he gently removed it and brought it up to his lips. The confused blonde moved so that she could see him better and Giles placed a soft kiss on her nose.

"I'd rather just hold you at the moment, Buffy, is that alright?"

He noticed the look of hesitation on her face before she nestled her body back down against his, stroking his belly. "Sure."

XxXxXxXx

The next thing Giles knew was that he woke up in a sudden panic. Alone. Maybe he had dreamt it all? The lights were off and the blackout curtain drawn, and though it was dark, he knew he was in Buffy's room; there was only one bed. He found himself beneath a blanket, but he didn't remember pulling one over him. Sitting up, the Watcher reached for his glasses on the nightstand and put them on before moving to turn on the light.

"Don't."

"Buffy?" he asked, sighing with relief, squinting in the dark trying to find her.

"Yeah."

He found her silhouetted against the wingback chair across the room. "What are you doing over there?"

"Watching you sleep." Her delivery was very matter of fact, almost reminding him of Anya.

"I'm sorry, must've been very boring."

Giles could see her better now that some of the bleariness of sleep had passed, and noticed she was dressed in the hotel robe. There was a very noncommittal shrug of her shoulders, and sensing her discomfort, he rose to get out of the bed.

"Stay... please," she requested, and he sat back against the headboard. "I think we should talk."

Fidgeting with the ring on his left pinky, Giles looked up, "Alright."

"We leave tomorrow."

"Yes."

"I think... maybe this isn't such a good idea," she said softly and he detected a hitch in her voice.

He closed his eyes willing the right words to come. She was running again, but he didn't understand why. He couldn't lose her now. If he did, that would be end of it. He'd never see her again. Or if he did, it would be from across a room and they'd acknowledge each other with a nod and go their separate ways, or perhaps have a stilted conversation as they caught up with their friends, and his heart would break all over again, knowing that at one time maybe he'd had a chance. Closing his eyes and placing a hand over his heart, he was reminded of the promise he'd made to himself, his promise to let her go.

"What exactly is _this_, Buffy?" Giles asked just above a whisper. He opened his eyes and hoped like hell he was heading in the right direction. "Sex? Two friends finding solace in each other's arms? The start of something new?"

She turned her head, focusing on something across the room before admitting, "I'm afraid, Giles."

He hopped out of the bed and padded over to her, not caring that he was naked. Crouching down in front of her, he placed a hand on her knee and she focused her attention back onto him.

"Do you want to know what I think this is?" the Englishman questioned, taking her hand in his, looking up into her eyes. He could tell she had been crying, her cheeks were still wet, and he mentally kicked himself for falling asleep on her.

When she nodded her assent, he continued, "I think it's more than that. At least for me."

"Then why don't you fight for me?"

"Excuse me?" he asked, pulling his glasses off and setting them on the table next to the chair.

"We get close and then you seem to distance yourself, as though being near me is some kind of mistake."

"How do you figure that, Buffy? I seem to recall some wonderful time making love with you just a little while ago."

"And then you stopped us, just like the other morning when you looked at me like I was some chaos demon to be slain."

"Oh, love, the other morning... I was mortified by the situation, that you felt my reaction, not by being with you. God, waking up with you... was better than I had ever imagined."

"You've imagined?"

"Yes, for some time now. And... I-I'm terrified, too. I leave for London tomorrow and you for Rome. I wanted to hold you in my arms, show you that this was... _is _more than just sex for me, Buffy. Making love to you... feeling you respond, watching you come... and what you do to me... Christ! I want to be in you, feel you envelope me, and I want... you... But, more than all that, I want to remember how you feel in my arms, the scent of your hair, the weight of your body against mine, how you look at me in the stillness." He pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. "Not knowing when we might see each other again... it hurts like hell."

She sniffled and wiped a tear away from her face. "And again I ask: why don't you fight for me?"

"Don't you want to go to Rome?"

"No. I mean yes. At some point... to visit," she admitted weakly.

"Then why?"

"What was I supposed to do? Everyone figured out what they wanted to do fairly quickly. Xander's off to Africa to find new Slayers, Willow's gone to the Coven, Dawn's decided Dad isn't so bad and will probably stay with him, Faith's defending the new Hellmouth, you... you are going to run the Council, and me? I'm the 'Senior Slayer,' everyone assumes I know what I'm doing, where I'm going, but really, how the _hell_ should I know? I just averted the apocalypse, with help, but still. How could I look at everyone and just say, 'I don't know?' So I thought Rome's always been some place I've wanted to see."

"Oh, my poor Buffy! What _do_ you want to do?"

She leaned over, gently touching the ink above his heart, fixating on the falcon's jesses. "I want to come home, Giles."

"Sunnydale-"

"Is gone. And besides, it hasn't been my home since I died."

The Watcher winced at her pronouncement.

"I want to come home... to you." He was speechless. Leaning forward from his crouched position to his knees, he placed his hands on her hips, and bowed his head. "But if that's... not... what you want, I'll-"

"How could I not want, Buffy?" he asked, lifting his head and tilting it to the side. His heart was in his eyes and he gave her a shy grin.

"Yeah?" she asked with a smile tugging the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah," he returned quietly, pushing up to stand full height on his knees. Leaning in, he placed the lightest of kisses on her lips before pulling back to look at her. His smile grew bolder as he watched relief wash over her face. "Do you want to come to London with me?"

Buffy descended upon him, taking his lips with hers, and when he parted his lips, she immediately took the opportunity to caress his tongue with hers. Losing her balance, she fell off the chair, but his hands were still on her hips and he gently guided her down into his lap. His cock came to life in an instant and he moaned as she repositioned herself to straddle him.

"Buffy!" He cried in surprise, breaking their kiss when she ground against him, wet heat sliding along his shaft. He had been so focused on her that he hadn't noticed that she wasn't wearing anything underneath the robe. She rocked against him and he felt her quiver when the head of his penis hit her clit.

As he nudged her robe open, the aroused Watcher moaned against her shoulder before trailing his tongue along her clavicle and nipping at it. He then brought his mouth up to her ear and in a hushed tone asked, "I take it that's a yes?"

"Mmm, London, yes," she responded rubbing herself along his erection, her hands roaming over his chest and back before she grabbed his ass and thrust against him, pleading, "Need you, Giles, please."

"We need to get up."

Buffy stopped her movements, looking at him funny, before it dawned on her and she giggled, "Bed."

"Precisely so."

She got up offering her hands in assistance, which he gladly accepted as his legs were starting to go numb. Leading him over to the bed, she grabbed his wallet and fished out the condom, "Always such a Boy Scout, Giles."

"More optimistic if anything," he countered with a blush, taking the packet from her and pushing her down on the bed.

"I like it when a man takes charge," she teased as she fell onto the mattress.

His eyes got dark and he nipped her chin and nibbled his way down her neck, "You are so beautiful and I simply adore you." He stopped his movements, realizing he had been remiss, and he lifted himself up so that he rested his forehead against hers, peering into the mossy depths of her eyes, and declared, "I do love you ardently, Buffy Summers!"

Her eyes brimmed with happy tears and she nuzzled her cheek against his. "Show me, Giles," she requested breathily, taking his earlobe between her teeth and laving it with her tongue, "I am so ready for you."

He growled and tore the package open. He was so hard and he couldn't wait to be in her.

"Let me," she said as she sat up and took it from him, keeping her eyes trained on his as she rolled the condom on him. "Feels like you are ready for me too."

He was beyond words and simply nodded as she lowered herself back down onto the pillows. Reaching down he pulled her thighs up and over his hips, positioning the tip of his penis at her entrance.

"I love you," Giles whispered as he pressed himself forward, entering her slowly. She was tight and the feel of her heat surrounding him nearly took his breath away.

"I love you too," she answered with a smile gracing her lips, closing her eyes when he was fully buried within her.

"Good, Buffy! So. Good!" he murmured as he started to move against her. Lowering himself, he placed his hands on either side of her shoulders and she circled his neck with her hands, playing with the hairs on the back of his neck as she met his thrusts and increased the pace.

Giles knew he wasn't going to last long as she milked his cock with her inner muscles and ground against him. He loved hearing her little moans and the look of sheer pleasure on her face. His Slayer was _resplendent_. Pushing himself back up onto his knees he pulled her hips up higher and she wrapped her legs around him.

"So close, Giles!" she hissed through clenched teeth, grabbing onto his arms.

"Jesus, come with me, Buffy!" he urged, changing the angle, thrusting faster with shortened strokes. In a last bid for control, he rolled her nipples between his fingers and thumbs, pinching them before she started to shudder beneath him. She cried out his name at the height of her orgasm and as she spasmed around his shaft, he found his release, emptying himself deep within her.

After they'd recovered, they lazily kissed and caressed each other in the stillness, and Giles felt as though, for once, everything was right in his world. How could it not be? His Slayer was now his lover and she was returning with him to England. The thought made him smile as he idly traced the puma on her back. He wouldn't need to keep watch from afar ever again. He'd let her go, and she had finally found her way home.

**A/N: **Si Aliquid Amas translates from Latin to "If you love something." Thanks for reading!


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